TV & Film

Big Brother Canada: Season 5 First Impressions

What can I say? I’m a Big Brother addict.

This season BBCAN is going to be a fans vs. favourites sort of deal. Well, I don’t actually know if the newbies are fans per-say, but it just sounds better. So we’re going with that.

Returnees:

Gary Levy: Season 1 – I loved Gary during his first run, although he did cry a bit much. Cry babies aren’t my thing, but it’s hard not to love Gary. No man wears heels like Mr. Glitter wears heels. We all know Gary should have won his first time around, and I think that will probably hinder him this season. I want him to do well (assuming he keeps the tears at bay), but I just don’t see it happening. He’s a comp beast and a social magician. If this cast is smart, they’ll get him out early. 7/10.

Neda Kalantar: Season 2 – Neda was another one of my past loves. She was great to watch and easy to like. She was almost smart as hell and easy to overlook, which is a strong combo. I doubt that will fly this season, but I’ve been surprised by far less in the past. I just want to say that I’m super sad her and Jon broke up, but I’m curious to see how she’ll do without him. 8/10.

Kevin Martin: Season 3 – LOVED HIM. Seriously, he was great. I even loved him with Pilar, although it probably wasn’t his best move. I think he has potential if he teams up with Neda. Both their minds together? Sign me up. 8/10.

Bruno Ielo: Season 3 – Ugh. Didn’t like Bruno in 2015, don’t like him two years later. He’s from my city, so I think I’m supposed to love him, but I just… don’t. He’s just not my cup of tea. With my luck, he’ll probably make it way into jury. 3/10.

Ika Wong: Season 2 – She was sassy, which I like, but she was also too much. Tone it down, keep to the comedy and eye rolls, and she’s cool. I don’t think I’ll be able to tolerate her for the full season, but I’m sure she’ll be fun for the 3-4 weeks she manages to hang on for. She has zero chance of winning – I’m just tossing that out there. 6/10.

Dallas Cormier: Season 4 – Nononono. He’s not even someone I love to hate like Ika. I just hate him. He’s rude and loud and disgusting and I’m already tempted to euthanize my TV so as not to subject it to the horror that is him. Seriously, no. I can’t see him making it far, thank God. 1/10.

Sindy Nguyen: Season 3 – Cindy with an S is back! Before season 3, I loved her. I was team Sindy all the way. Then the show started and I was like…. meh…. I don’t dislike Sindy, she just didn’t impress me like I had hoped. Her game wasn’t great. She left early. She wasn’t that funny. Meh. I wish her better luck this time. 6/10.

Cassandra Shahinfar: Season 4 – She’s crazy with a capital C. Crazy. So, naturally, I can’t not love her. She’s hilarious and intelligent and amusing as hell to watch. I’m sad Tim won’t be back with her, because they were TV gold. I’m so excited to watch whatever batshit crazy drama she brings. Villains gotta vill, girl. 9/10.

Newbies:

Dre Gwenaelle – She actually called herself ‘extra’ in her video, so I’m instantly not a fan. You can tell she thinks very highly of herself, and I get the feeling she’s going to cause a lot of drama and go out with a bang. I’m not talking yelling, either. She just screams ‘go out with a bang.’ I don’t see her making it very far. My TV can’t handle all the extraness. 4/10.

Mark Chrysler – Well, aren’t you precious. When I look at him, I see a giant puppy dog. I don’t typically like dogs, but we’ll see. Most people do love dogs, after all. Maybe if he teams up with a brainy girl (not a showmance) he could go far. He has comp beast written all over his little puppy face. 7/10.

William Laprise Desbiens – This kid already amuses me. He doesn’t need to tell me he’s sassy, because it’s written on every inch of his body. He’ll probably leave early-ish or go super far in one of those huge-super-lame-alliances. 6/10.

Emily Hawkin – This girl is different than the rest of the sass queens we have so far. She’s awkward and I like it. I hope she stays true to the goofy weirdo I saw in her mini-intro video. Thank God for some different types of personalities! I hope she doesn’t stick out so much as to make herself an easy target. 8/10.

Demetres Giannitsos – He says he’s a meathead. I believe him. He says he’ll be loud and obnoxious. I believe him. There are two options for him: he will morph into a sweetie pie and coast for a bit, or he will Hulk-out and leave soon in a blase of fire. I don’t see him getting angry, but I see him playing too hard too fast. I have the potential to either love him or hate him. TBC. 6/10.

Karen Singbeil – She’s so much older than everyone else. She said it herself: she’ll be the mom. I bet they’ll keep her for a while, just because of the mom card. She swears a lot in her intro video, which is in direct opposition to her voice. Ten bucks says we don’t see that side of her again. She’ll probably float to the back, getting zero camera time. 5/10.

Dillon Carman – Ooooo a boxer! He makes me think teddy bear. He even said it himself! I sort of love him. I feel like he’ll go far, just as long as people don’t freak out over his beastliness. 8/10.

Jackie Mccurrach – Ginga Ninja. Sigh. Is she a teacher? I feel like she’s a teacher. Wait. Apparently she makes pizza? Okay. Sure. She’ll go far, I’m sure. Sweet and coasting, she’ll probably go for floater, just because she can. I’ll have to wait to decide if I like her, because right now I’m just feeling meh. Maybe she’ll find herself a little showmance. 7/10.

Overall:

I usually love returnee seasons, but I’m not in-love with the cast. I have a few favourites, but it’s always so hard to tell before the show actually airs. The whole group is (mostly) full of young, sassy kids who were picked for their big personalities rather than their ability to game. It’s sort of sad that Canada (and the US lately) do this, because the game would be sooo much better if they filled the house with a bunch of different, strategic maniacs. Just saying.

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